Usually they say "rest is history". As if everything will fall in place after I gave the new rules to Adi.
Not a chance. In the next few weeks I realized things are never that simple. At first we tried a 24X7 arrangement whereas I would only command and Adi will obey. Well it lasted all of 2 weeks and felt forced. In these 2 weeks Adi & me had sex only once where he was allowed to come. Rest of the times he just gave me oral. He did almost all the housework and I hardly contributed. At the end of 2 weeks I felt instead of coming together we were drifting further apart. I realized that I was missing the Adi that i could talk to , have a conversation with & maybe even with whom I can fight. I missed those emotions in that time. Adi to became a shell of himself and stopped communicating. I never wanted a wimp husband and that was what i was forcing him to be. The attraction of the marriage was being lost and I think I was responsible for that. I think it was time for another chat
We again sat together and I asked Adi about his experience and I realized that Adi was also feeling the same. He also missed the closeness that we had earlier . I had to take a step back. I went to internet again and researched on the topic and realized that it was of not much help. There was hardly any female perspective & what most guys wrote was pure fantasy. Most of the guys wanted to work as a slave/servant 24/7 with chastity & wanted wives to have outside relationships. I didn't want any of that and I am sure neither did Adi. I wanted a considerate husband who loves me but not a wimp who just follows my commands. He should have the balls to give way to my needs/wants because of love and not because I said so. I was confused and thought all this was a mistake and I should abandon it. I again talked to Adi and that is when I got the surprise of my life. Adi said he never wants be to let it go all together. He told me that he has realized that he gets a kick when I order him around and that he has now realized that he is more of a follower and that I should be the one to lead him. He didnt want a equal partnership anymore but said it should be more 70/30 in my favor. I was again invigorated. We spent the night discussing and realized that we needed a middle ground. We wanted some aspects of this relationship to work so I again went back to the drawing board for a new set of rules. Long story short, after multiple iteration where Adi & myself debated on a lot of things I was able to set some rules & expectations that I wanted Adi to follow
Here is what was decided
1) Sun-Fri- We will behave like normal couple. I will got work with Adi taking care of the house. He will do the laundry ,cleaning & cooking. In evening we will spend time like we normally did earlier talking , watching TV. In his free time he will pick a hobby (he picked guitar) and will work on that.
He is not allowed more that 1 hr of PS3 and NO INTERNET PORT.
2) Sat- This is the day that Adi will treat me like a queen. On this day he has no rights. He will do as I say and will not speak to unless asked. On Saturday he is mine and mine only.
In the next post I will explain in details how a typical Saturday looks like.
Till Later
Pooja
Not a chance. In the next few weeks I realized things are never that simple. At first we tried a 24X7 arrangement whereas I would only command and Adi will obey. Well it lasted all of 2 weeks and felt forced. In these 2 weeks Adi & me had sex only once where he was allowed to come. Rest of the times he just gave me oral. He did almost all the housework and I hardly contributed. At the end of 2 weeks I felt instead of coming together we were drifting further apart. I realized that I was missing the Adi that i could talk to , have a conversation with & maybe even with whom I can fight. I missed those emotions in that time. Adi to became a shell of himself and stopped communicating. I never wanted a wimp husband and that was what i was forcing him to be. The attraction of the marriage was being lost and I think I was responsible for that. I think it was time for another chat
We again sat together and I asked Adi about his experience and I realized that Adi was also feeling the same. He also missed the closeness that we had earlier . I had to take a step back. I went to internet again and researched on the topic and realized that it was of not much help. There was hardly any female perspective & what most guys wrote was pure fantasy. Most of the guys wanted to work as a slave/servant 24/7 with chastity & wanted wives to have outside relationships. I didn't want any of that and I am sure neither did Adi. I wanted a considerate husband who loves me but not a wimp who just follows my commands. He should have the balls to give way to my needs/wants because of love and not because I said so. I was confused and thought all this was a mistake and I should abandon it. I again talked to Adi and that is when I got the surprise of my life. Adi said he never wants be to let it go all together. He told me that he has realized that he gets a kick when I order him around and that he has now realized that he is more of a follower and that I should be the one to lead him. He didnt want a equal partnership anymore but said it should be more 70/30 in my favor. I was again invigorated. We spent the night discussing and realized that we needed a middle ground. We wanted some aspects of this relationship to work so I again went back to the drawing board for a new set of rules. Long story short, after multiple iteration where Adi & myself debated on a lot of things I was able to set some rules & expectations that I wanted Adi to follow
Here is what was decided
1) Sun-Fri- We will behave like normal couple. I will got work with Adi taking care of the house. He will do the laundry ,cleaning & cooking. In evening we will spend time like we normally did earlier talking , watching TV. In his free time he will pick a hobby (he picked guitar) and will work on that.
He is not allowed more that 1 hr of PS3 and NO INTERNET PORT.
2) Sat- This is the day that Adi will treat me like a queen. On this day he has no rights. He will do as I say and will not speak to unless asked. On Saturday he is mine and mine only.
In the next post I will explain in details how a typical Saturday looks like.
Till Later
Pooja
I haven't read beyond here yet but hope that your leadership/dominion progresses to one that is full time. It makes no sense to lead only some of the time but not all of the time. A leader is a leader and a follower is a follower. Right now, it's akin to a teacher being a teacher some of the time but a student along with the other students the rest of the time. How can the students truly respect and honor their teacher if the teacher fails to lead everyday of class? Make sense?
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