Aftermath

Usually they say "rest is history". As if everything will fall in place after I gave the new rules to Adi.
Not a chance. In the next few weeks I realized things are never that simple. At first we tried a 24X7 arrangement whereas I would only command and Adi will obey. Well it lasted all of 2 weeks and felt forced. In these 2 weeks Adi & me had sex only once where he was allowed to come. Rest of the times he just gave me oral. He did almost all the housework and I hardly contributed. At the end of 2 weeks I felt instead of coming together we were drifting further apart. I realized that I was missing the Adi that i could talk to , have a conversation with & maybe even with whom I can fight. I missed those emotions in that time. Adi to became a shell of himself and stopped communicating. I never wanted a wimp husband and that was what i was forcing him to be. The attraction of the marriage was being lost and I think I was responsible for that. I think it was time for another chat

We again sat together and I asked Adi about his experience and I realized that Adi was also feeling the same. He also missed the closeness that we had earlier . I had to take a step back. I went to internet again and researched on the topic and realized that it was of not much help. There was hardly any female perspective & what most guys wrote was pure fantasy. Most of the guys wanted to work as a slave/servant 24/7 with chastity & wanted wives to have outside relationships. I didn't want any of that and I am sure neither did Adi. I wanted a considerate husband who loves me but not a wimp who just follows my commands. He should have the balls to give way to my needs/wants because of love and not because I said so. I was confused and thought all  this was a mistake and  I should abandon it. I again talked to Adi and that is when I got the surprise of my life. Adi said he never wants be to let it go all together. He told me that he has realized that he gets a kick when I order him around and that he has now realized that he is more of a follower and that I should be the one to lead him. He didnt want a equal partnership anymore but said it should be more 70/30 in my favor. I was again invigorated. We spent the night discussing and realized that we needed a middle ground. We wanted some aspects of this relationship to work so I again went back to the drawing board for a new set of rules. Long story short, after multiple iteration where Adi & myself debated on a lot of things I was able to set some rules & expectations that I wanted Adi to follow

Here is what was decided

1) Sun-Fri- We will behave like normal couple. I will got work with Adi taking care of the house. He will do the laundry ,cleaning & cooking. In evening we will spend time like we normally did earlier talking , watching TV.  In his free time he will pick a hobby (he picked guitar) and will work on that.
He is not allowed more that 1 hr of PS3 and NO INTERNET PORT.

2) Sat- This is the day that Adi will treat me like a queen. On this day he has no rights. He will do as I say and will not speak to unless asked. On Saturday he is mine and mine only.

In the next post I will explain in details how a typical Saturday looks like.

Till Later
Pooja

The Change

I still remember the day it all changed in my marriage to Adi. It was Sep 15, 2010. I was on my way to work that I realized that they had closed the freeway and that it would take me at-least a couple of hrs to reach office. I decided to go back home and WFH. When I reached home I knocked but there was no answer . I thought may Adi had gone to buy some groceries so I used the spare key to unlock the door. As I entered the hallway I realized there was someone on the bed in the bedroom. At first I thought maybe Adi had gone back to sleep. So I tiptoed into the bedroom to startle him. As I entered the bedroom it was my turn to be startled. I saw Adi lying on the bed with his laptop and head phones on. His pajamas were down and he had his dick in his right hand. I immediately shouted

"WHAT IS THIS ADI ??????"

Upon hearing my voice Adi was startled. He immediately got the headphones off and started to get his pajamas up. I then realized that he was watching a video of a three-way with 2 boys and a girl on a porn site. I immediately walked out of the room. Adi followed me into the other room. I sat on the bed and started to cry . Adi tried to console me but I rebuked him and told him to leave me alone. He went out of the room and I locked the door behind him. I sat on the bed and felt humiliated . I though how could he do this to me. Going behind my back masturbating while I toiled hard at work. The more I thought the angrier I got. After a couple of hrs Adi knocked on the door and I heard him apologizing repeatedly. At first I thought of ignoring him but then I decided to confront him . I needed some answers and I was not getting them sitting here alone in the room. As I opened the door Adi started apologizing again . I calmly told him " WE NEED TO TALK".

We then went to the dining table and sat and I asked " How Long ?"

He replied "2 months". I again asked him "Why ". He then tried to explain his insecurities and the free time at hand and the fact that with me being so tired all the time he wasn't getting much action from me. I then realized that he was partly right. With all the new office work and commute our sex life had taken a backseat. But that doesn't give him the right to abuse our marriage. I then told him how abused I felt and how he had broken my trust in him. He started to apologize and got down from the table and knelt down and said that he was very sorry and that he was ready to do anything I told.
I got up and said " I will think about it"

I came to my room and again shut the door. I opened his laptop and checked the history. He was right, the porn sites went back 2 months. I then went through the sites and mostly was vanilla porn but one site caught my eye "sheisincharge.blogspot.in/" . I clicked on the link and read the description and it said something about a submissive husband and his desire to submit to and obey his wife. I was a little confused however decided to give it a read anyway. The more I read the more intrigued I was. In the next 3-4 hrs I realized that if I had to save my marriage I had to do it myself and now I knew how to do it.

I came out of the room in the evening and went to the sofa and sat down. Adi followed me there and kept quiet. I told him to sit down and that I had a few questions. I asked him about the blog that I had found and he said that he had clicked on it as it had a catchy title but hadn't gone beyond that. I then told him that if he truly seeks my forgiveness he will do everything I tell him to do now onwards no questions asked. He immediately said yes. I asked that he should wait a little and hear me out first.
I got a little nervous but then realized that there was no chickening out
Then I listed the 5 basic rules
1) He will always love me but now also start to obey me.
2) He will do all the housework. I will try to share but in the end it is his job and his responsibility
3) He will never masturbate again without my permission
4) He will go down on me without any hesitation anytime I ask
5) I reserve the right to punish him

In short I said that from now on I am the leader of this house and that I wear the pants in this family. I then got even more confident and asked him that if he agrees to my conditions he can give his acceptance by bowing down and kissing my feet.

All the while Adi had a blank look on his face. He was I guess taken aback with all the things I had just said. A minute or 2 passed but it felt like eternity. I started to get a little jittery and thought maybe it was too much too soon and that Adi will refuse. Finally Adi knelt down. He first kissed one foot and then the other. I told him to do it once more and he did it again. I felt a tingle of excitement run through my body. I liked the feeling and decided to go a step further . I asked Adi to get up and get naked. He was confused but started to take of his clothes. I told him as a punishment for today he will remain naked. As he dropped down his underwear I found that he had a partial erection which growing bigger by the second. I was surprised but then realized that maybe all this humiliation is was turning him on as well. I felt an electric current run through my body. I asked Adi to go down on me. He hesitated but then again knelt down. I removed my panties and told him to start. He started tentatively but as his tongue explored my lips I shuddered. He was good at it now or maybe I had taught him well. He knew where to lick & when to withdraw. He teased me a little by withdrawing his head and I grabbed his hair with both my hands and pushed him inside. This time he attacked and in no time I was in the chores of ecstasy. Finally when it subsided he got up and I kissed him on the lips sharing my pussy with him and told him

"I LOVE You Adi"

Till Later
Pooja

P.S. - Would love to hear some comments as it will give me encouragement. Otherwise  I feel like a fool sharing my story without any reciprocation.

Background - Part 2

Okay where did I stop yesterday . Oh yes, The big fight !! Here is what hapd next

In the morning when I woke up Adi was already awake and he was in the kitchen. I was a bit surprised as Adi is not an early bird and usually I have to coax him out of bed in the morning. I quietly came and sat on the dining and observed him. He was looking cheerful and was humming a song. I sat perplexed as I had expected him to be in a bad mood after what had happened yesterday. Finally he turned and when he saw me he said "Good Morning Jaan , Did you have a good sleep ?"
I replied "Good Morning , Yes it was good. How abt you . How are you feeling ?". He responded that he felt great and that breakfast will be ready in 15-20 mins and that I better freshen up. I came back to my room and went through my daily routine. When I came out he was laying the table and had prepared everything already. He asked me to sit down and have some of it. I sat a little confused as to what was happening and then noticed there was a letter on the table. I opened and found that this was the apology letter that I had instructed Adi to write yesterday night. I started reading and realized that Adi had spent some time to put this together. He mentioned very clearly that he understands that he was at fault and that he should have never said the things he said. He also stated that he thought I was right to slap him to bring him back to his senses. He promised to trust my judgement in future in all matters and that I was fit to take any action if I realized that he was not upto his promise. Finally he asked me to again forgive for yesterday. After reading the letter I saw that Adi was standing holding his ears saying "Sorry". I immediately burst into tears and stood to hug him. We kissed and made up.

In the evening we were sitting on the sofa with my head resting on Adi's shoulder. I finally asked Adi how did he feel when I asked him to apologize yesterday. Adi felt silent and then looked into my eyes and said that honestly he felt humiliated but then he knew that I was right and that it was better to apologize than face my wrath. I replied " You made the right choice Adi". I then teased him that from now onwards every time he needs to apologize he needs to do it the right way which is while bowing at my feet" Adi replied tongue in cheek "Yes Ma'am".


Next few weeks were spent in applying for Visa and completing other formalities. Adi tried to find a project in his office that could place him in the US but no luck. We decided to discuss all the scenarios and put Pros and Cons to them. This went for days and finally one evening I felt that we were getting nowhere and I felt frustrated . I told Adi enough is enough and that here is what we are going to do

1) I will go to US for this assignment and Adi will come with me. He will take a sabbatical from work for 1 year
2) He will apply for a work permit there and we will see if we can find some job in US. Till then he can manage the house.

I asked Adi if had any problem with this and he replied in negative. We knew that this will be a problem with our parents so I started to prepare my reasoning. Over the weekend we visited Adi's parents and broke the news to them. They were very surprised and her mother said " How can a guy sit idle while his wife works ? What will the society say ?" . I explained that this was a joint decision and that I anyway earn equal to what Adi earns and after the promotion it will be financially beneficial as  well. Adi's parents looked at Adi and he said he completely agreed with me on this. Finally after much prodding they agreed and we came back to my place. My parents were a cakewalk and were infact proud that I was doing so good in my office. Adi then put the leave request in his office and we flew to US in May 2010.

I was posted in New jersey so we tried to find an apartment in an Indian neighborhood. Initial couple of months were spent setting up the house. As the office was a good 40 miles away it took a lot of time to commute. In the evening I used to come exhausted and then had to do some household work like laundry and cleaning. A couple of times I asked Adi that he should help more and he promised to pick up some of these tasks but in vain. The only thing I didn't have to worry was the kitchen as Adi was quite expert at that. However still I always felt shortchanged and that as if Adi was not being an equal partner. He was still waiting for his Work permit so all he did in the day was some kitchen work and play on his PS3. Atleast that is what I thought he did !!

Then one day all that changed ...

Till Later
Pooja

Background

So how did we meet !!

Well it wasn't any fairytale meeting or love at first sight kind of thing that we had. Infact we met through a matrimonial site. We both work in the IT industry and after a couple of meetings gave a go ahead to our parents. My first impression about Adi was that he was very shy and treated me courteously. He always addressed me as ma'am in our first meeting , holding out chairs and begin chivalrous. I liked it about him. I myself have always been very open and shared about my beliefs in the first meeting itself. To my surprise he was a virgin and to his surprise I told him about my past relationship. He became a little uncomfortable and squirmed a little when i discussed about my ex-boyfriend. Anyways long story short we clicked and had a marriage within 6 months of meeting each other. We both were employed in Gurgaon and he used to stay with his parents in Delhi. I have always been an independent girl and I laid down the law that I cannot be trapped in the vagaries of a joint family. I told him upfront that we will live separately and so we bought a house in Gurgaon and shifted their post marriage. The first year of the marriage was all very tame. We had fun in the bedroom and I was always the teacher and had to initiate sex almost every time. I remember the first time I started to give him a blow job, he got very jittery as If I will bite him. He started to protest and I tried to reason that he will like it. Finally I scolded him and asked him to just lie on the bed with hands behind his head and he obeyed. I gave him his first BJ he thanks me to the day for that experience. I also remember when I asked him to go down on me. He flatly refused. I got pissed off and did not speak to him for 2 days. Finally he apologized and I almost made him beg to go down on me afterwards. Outside bedroom also I was the de-facto leader of the house. I decided how we spent our money , what movie to watch, what all to buy and how do we spend our free time. As we both worked we shared the housework. I was never a homemaker but as Adi had stayed away in US he was more that adept with most of the chores but still we shared most of the work.

Our first major fight came after almost a year into our marriage. One day my manager called me and told that he had a US assignment for 1 year and that if I wanted to go. I was getting a promotion with this opportunity so I immediately accepted. When I reached home that evening I gave Adi the good news and his reaction stunned me. He said "How can you say yes without asking me . What will I do all this time?"  and then I realized that I had said yes without giving a thought to Adi's job. I tried to reason with him that it is a very good move for my career and that we will try to figure something out but he was in no mood to listen. Finally he said " Pooja , you know , YOU ARE VERY SELFISH". I looked at him for 2 seconds and then slapped him , picked up my bag and car keys and left the house. I went to my friend's place and narrated her the whole incident and suddenly i started crying. My friend consoled me and finally I decided to sleep at my friend's place. In the morning when I woke up I saw Adi was trying to call me , I ignored him. Went to office from my friend's place and didn't speak to him the whole day. When I came to my friend's place I found Adi waiting there for me. I walked past him into the bedroom and he followed. He started to apologize and tried to hold my hand but I pulled back. He tried to say sorry and that he is ready to consider everything but I was so hurt that I just kept quiet. Finally he said  " What can I do make you believe that I am truly sorry ?"
I was so pissed off that I blurted " If you are truly sorry , you should beg at my feet and then maybe I will forgive you!!" . I had said that just out of spite. I knew Adi will never do this . However to my surprise Adi went down to his knees and bowed his head on my feet and said " Pooja I am very sorry. Please forgive me". I was taken aback and didn't reply for some time. Adi kept kneeling so I then gathered my thoughts and asked him stand up. Then I told him " Let's go home"

When we reached home I made him sit with me and explained that if he wants me to forgive him here are my conditions
1) He will accept my decision to go to US wholeheartedly and without any arguments
2) He will never speak to me rudely again.

He immediately said "Yes I agree". Then I got a little bold and told him that for what he had done to me he should also write an apology letter explaining why he was wrong and that how will he correct himself for future. He had a puzzled look on his face with this weird request but realized it was best not argue so just said  " Sure, will do that". I told him to sleep in the spare bedroom today and work on the letter. I then went to sleep. When I lied in the bed I had a very content feeling and I think that was the day when something changed in our relationship.

Will continue with the background in another post

Till Later
Pooja

P.S. - Not sure if Adi also should be allowed to read and post on this blog. Will leave that to the readers

Introduction

So how do we begin !! For starters my name is Pooja and I live in India with my husband Aditya. We have been married for 5 years. We are a everyday vanilla couple in normal sense but inside my house I am the leader and my husband is my follower. It has not been the same for all these five years and how we reached this stage I will explain later. For now the purpose of this blog is to share our experiences and maybe coach & learn from other couples especially in India who are like minded. From the very outset I want to  make it clear I am not here to make any new relationships , just new friend !! We would like to keep our identities secret so no personal information but I will try to share some pics time to time where our anonymity is maintained.

Till Later

Pooja